Smart Car 32

Some Enchanted Evening

Carl pulled over beside a car in the parking lot and said “Wow. Look at that Maserati”.

Duke replied “I thought that you were a one car guy. Aren’t you crazy about Josie?”

“Sure, but a car can look, can’t he? You’re in love with Sheila, but you stare at good looking women.”

“That’s fair, but I didn’t know that it worked with cars as well as people.”

“Think about it Duke, humans gave AI to cars, shouldn’t we act like you?”

“Guess you are right. I’ll pick up the groceries, and we can get back to our better halves.”

Sheila discusses dinner plans with Josie. “Duke and Carl should be home from grocery shopping soon. I should probably cook something tonight.”

“Sounds good. Carl and I have plans to go to the car singing festival. Would you like to go as well? I’m sure the other cars would like to hear your group Whimsy.”

“You think they would enjoy our chants and instrumentals? Sounds like fun to me. We can see if Duke wants to come along. You know how bad his singing is, but he could lip sync, or just bang on Carl’s side. At least he’s got a good beat and you can dance to it.”

“What is Deuce doing this evening Josie?”

“You didn’t know that he left for Seattle this morning? He talked to our billionaire friend Eugene Springfield and they agreed that he could try some new stunts. Eugene built some new equipment and now they can practice loop de loop and stunts like in those last century Bond films. Those two are so tight. I know how close you and I are and Duke and Carl, but sometimes I think Deuce and Eugene are the closest car and human duo. They enjoy each other’s company so much.”

“I don’t mean to interrupt you, but I see Duke and Carl coming in. I want to see what they brought for dinner.”

After Duke brings in a huge cardboard box, Sheila peeks into it. “Great Duke, thirty bags of cheddar, onion, garlic, pickle, and peanut butter potato chips – it’s a lifetime supply. I’ll send out for pizza.”


Smart Car 31

Christmas Eve 2091

Sheila asked Duke “What are we doing for Christmas this year?”

“We are going with the cars tonight to the Portland International Raceway for the Christmas Eve Car Show.”

“Are our cars involved?”

“You bet. They said prepare to be impressed.”

Later at the show

Duke read from the program “First up we have some variety acts.”

The first one was a 1200 horsepower Chevrolet beating an 1100 horsepower Ford in a tug of war. The Chevrolet celebrated with its overpowering siren.

Next, a team of acrobatic Mercedes ran three abreast on two tires, a Dodge ran on its back wheels for a mile, and three Lucids wove down the track at high speed only inches apart.

While the crew set up the track for more car stunts, a vintage Volvo recited “The Night Before Christmas” with cars substituting for people.

The crowd whooped and hollered as the star of the show, Sheila’s Deuce entered the track. It proceeded to blow everyone away, flying over busses and other obstacles, cutting cookies in tight circles, and drifting within inches of the guardrails.

The same Volvo then introduced “Our cast will now sing and dance for you.”

The cars, including Sheila’s Josie and Duke’s Carl joined several other cars on the track. Before singing the cars went through some intricate maneuvers while circling the track, then opened with the crowd favorite “Christmas On The Willamette” soloed by Josie, followed by some oldies “Rocking Around The Track”, “Honking Reindeer”, “The Twelve Cars Of Christmas”, “We Three Sedans”, “Winter Wonder Track”, “I Saw Mommy Blanking Santa Claus”, and “Santa Ate Tacos”. The last featured a Carl solo of belches and farts, bringing down the crowd.

All of the featured cars lit their Christmas lights and concluded the show by slowly circling the track. A thrilled crowd slowly exited.

Back at home Sheila asked “Can Christmas day top that?”

“No way, Christmas will be great, but it can’t top that show. I’m really impressed by what our cars did. Sweet dreams, moonbeam.”

“All right, sunlight.”