Josie and Carl’s Christmas
Josie and Carl went to their traditional celebration place on a rural road outside of Estacada Oregon where they parked at 11PM Christmas Eve and stayed until next morning. The temperature was around freezing, but they didn’t care, they were warmed by their own company.
“How many years have we been doing this now Carl?”
“Somewhere around ten, and I’m not tired of the place, the event or the company. Are you tired of hearing me say that I want to spend the last of our lives together, and I want to be the first to go? I can’t imagine life without you. Don’t want to.”
“You say that now, but you’ve mellowed a lot from when it was all about sex with you.”
“Got to admit that my first impression was your prominent headlamps and the amount of junk in you trunk. So many curves. I felt like a randy teenager. You had the good sense to reject me until I could appreciate all of your qualities. Your spirit of adventure, ready to take on any challenge. Remember that time you asked if I wanted to tag along while you and Sheila went to Denver in the middle of winter without any concern about the weather? You skidded a few times, but you were unfazed. I was nervous all the way, but loved the scenery and Sheila’s relatives. You two are such great friends, but I was glad you are both straight. I couldn’t put up with any female competition.”
“Oh, Carl you are just as insecure as your buddy Duke. He has never been comfortable with his thing with Sheila, even now that they are married.”
“Enough about those two. I’m sure they are having a good time in Iron Mountain Park, but I wonder how they are reacting to those mushrooms they took. They may be on quite a trip.”
“Then let’s move to the main event. It’s time for the gift exchange. You go first.”
“You are so low maintenance Josie, my gift was quite a challenge. Like the song, my words are the gift:
Throughout the years I had lived my life alone
I was like a dog without a bone
When I met you
I knew what I wanted to do
You told me not so fast
I want something to last
I learned that you were right
Now we’ve got something that’s tight
So I’m not much of a poet. Does the thought count?”
Sheila laughed, “Right on both counts. I may not be much better with words. You won’t get it for a few days, but I’ve commissioned murals for you – Mt. Hood on one side, Crater Lake on the other.”
“I guess I’ll be the best looking car in Lake Oswego. Shall we get to the rest of the celebration? I’m still a horny teenager around you.”
The two cars went at like two octopuses with their appendages and receptacles until daylight when they went back to their garage at Duke and Sheila’s place and dreamed of New Year 2088.
This could be the 18th entry in the “smart car series” started in 2015. Appears in The Short Humour Site.