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Tales

Smart Car 31

Christmas Eve 2091

Sheila asked Duke “What are we doing for Christmas this year?”

“We are going with the cars tonight to the Portland International Raceway for the Christmas Eve Car Show.”

“Are our cars involved?”

“You bet. They said prepare to be impressed.”

Later at the show

Duke read from the program “First up we have some variety acts.”

The first one was a 1200 horsepower Chevrolet beating an 1100 horsepower Ford in a tug of war. The Chevrolet celebrated with its overpowering siren.

Next, a team of acrobatic Mercedes ran three abreast on two tires, a Dodge ran on its back wheels for a mile, and three Lucids wove down the track at high speed only inches apart.

While the crew set up the track for more car stunts, a vintage Volvo recited “The Night Before Christmas” with cars substituting for people.

The crowd whooped and hollered as the star of the show, Sheila’s Deuce entered the track. It proceeded to blow everyone away, flying over busses and other obstacles, cutting cookies in tight circles, and drifting within inches of the guardrails.

The same Volvo then introduced “Our cast will now sing and dance for you.”

The cars, including Sheila’s Josie and Duke’s Carl joined several other cars on the track. Before singing the cars went through some intricate maneuvers while circling the track, then opened with the crowd favorite “Christmas On The Willamette” soloed by Josie, followed by some oldies “Rocking Around The Track”, “Honking Reindeer”, “The Twelve Cars Of Christmas”, “We Three Sedans”, “Winter Wonder Track”, “I Saw Mommy Blanking Santa Claus”, and “Santa Ate Tacos”. The last featured a Carl solo of belches and farts, bringing down the crowd.

All of the featured cars lit their Christmas lights and concluded the show by slowly circling the track. A thrilled crowd slowly exited.

Back at home Sheila asked “Can Christmas day top that?”

“No way, Christmas will be great, but it can’t top that show. I’m really impressed by what our cars did. Sweet dreams, moonbeam.”

“All right, sunlight.”